She didn’t understand a lot,
but she knew that
something was different.
Not something obvious,
oh no, it was very subtle.
It felt like a small,
still feeling deep within.
Perhaps, just perhaps, deep within
where there had always been pain and hunger
something like satisfaction
was beginning to take root.
Something like satisfaction
only because she didn’t really know
how satisfaction felt,
never having experienced it.
Always, she had needed more.
Nothing had ever been enough
because nothing had ever soothed
the constant pain and hunger
that clawed at her unconscious mind.
Now, she was beginning to realize
that she was trying
to ease the pain from the outside
when it really existed on the inside
where nothing and no one external to her
could touch or heal the wound
that festered deep inside.
And so, she must heal herself.
Could she?
Could she actually find alone
what no one else could find for her?
No one, that is, on the outside.
Inside was another world,
another reality.
Inside is where she had always lived
and always longed to return.
Often she had hated the outside world
because it seemed to keep her from herself.
And what was there out there anyway?
Money,
which had only caused her pain.
Success,
which seemed to mean only more money
to cause more pain.
And Love.
Yes, the Love was why she stayed.
Without the Love she would have
retreated deep inside long ago.
Without the Love she would have
left the outside world,
left it and never turned around.
But, although she didn’t understand,
and although it often hurt,
she stayed for the Love.
Maybe now the Love without
and the Love within could unite.
Imagine the glory of that.
Imagine a path of Love
leading back and forth
from the heart of her inner world
to the heart of her outer world.
This road could connect the
two portions of her that had
always seemed to be at war.
If her inner and outer worlds
were truly united,
she would find Peace,
she would BE Peace.
And then,
yes then,
she could help others.
