The red doors represent the most repressed portions of our psyche and the most primal level of our consciousness that is our first and second dimensional self. Here is the threshold to our lower astral plane that is the repository of our deepest fear and pain, our dark side. Our dark side is the part of ourselves that we have judged as “bad”.
Behind these doors hides the repressed thoughts and feelings that we had to push far away from our conscious mind. We pushed these memories away because we did not feel that we had the strength to deal with the situations that caused them.
However, these repressed memories, thoughts, and emotions have become embedded in the molecules and DNA of our cellular structure, our first and second dimensional selves. Our body then tries to display to us the reactions to these memories that our mind has denied.
Behind the red doors, our body, emotions, mind, and spirituality are like four strangers. Each one holds their pain without the belief that they are alone and isolated from all caring and support.
The first door is marked
PHYSICAL BODY
We knock.
As the door opens, a message is displayed:
Forgotten memories of fear, shame, sorrow, and anger give our bodies the message that there is a threat and that there is something, somewhere, that we should be afraid of. This constant message of impending fear creates anxiety that disorients us and puts our bodies into fight/flight response.
Sometimes the unseen battle is too much for us and we become depressed. In our depression we try to close ourselves off to external stimulation, but the pain comes from the inside and we can’t run from ourselves. Our immune system becomes depressed from the chronic stress, and our health suffers.
We feel like animals who are struggling to survive. Unfortunately, we are so filled with fear that we are even cut off from the survival instincts that are innate in our primitive self. Life becomes a constant, lonely struggle to make it one more day. Our sex drive, if we still have one, is only a selfish urge or a desperate need.
The second door is marked:
EMOTIONS
We knock.
As the door opens, a message is displayed:
Emotions from our fourth dimensional astral body interface with our physical bodies via our hormones and biochemistry. Since these dark feelings cannot be accessed by our conscious mind, our body’s discomfort at keeping these secrets is projected to our consciousness as an illness.
These hidden emotions create an overall sense of dread that feels like a heaviness upon our bodies and a floating anxiety which keeps us hyper-vigilant, jumpy and nervous. Depression numbs our emotions, makes us eat and sleep too much, not enough, or at the wrong time.
Then our bodies are even more uncomfortable. We feel like the victim of our emotions and sex is a desperate need for love or the conquest of a failing ego. In a vain attempt to control our emotions we seek out drugs and alcohol. Each substance creates a certain “emotional feeling” and temporarily serves the purpose of dampening the emotions that constantly haunt us.
The third door is marked:
THOUGHTS
We knock.
As the door opens, a message is displayed:
Our thoughts are out of control and without focus as negative and obsessive thinking overtakes our free will. Out of control thinking reinforces our feeling of being a victim. Problem oriented thinking creates a downward spiral with no hope of resolution. Unbidden thoughts come into our mind, which punish us with old core beliefs about the inadequacy of our being.
Our thoughts make us feel separate from everyone and everything and limit us from achieving our desires. Therefore, our moral principles and codes of right and wrong are debased to a state of war with the world around us. We give ourselves permission to do anything because we are separate from society. However, we are all “herd animals” and soon find another “society” where using drugs and alcohol, having “fun”, and “doing whatever we want”, rules.
The fourth door is marked:
BEHAVIOR
We knock.
As the door opens, a message is displayed: Our behavior mirrors our dark side. But how does a child know that they are bad if someone doesn’t tell them? How can a child learn to distinguish between good and bad if they are told that everything that they do is bad? The unconscious memories of childhood’s painful situations bring forward the defense mechanisms that we created in our childish efforts to survive.
The behaviors that are initiated from this portion of our unconscious are a reaction to a reality that exists only in our fears. While we are in this state of consciousness, our doubts and fears create a gray filter that alters all our perceptions. We see an enemy everywhere we look. Therefore, we believe that we are justified in our selfish and self-serving actions. The drugs that we have
chosen to “help” us have now become our masters and getting more of them becomes the predominant action in our life.
Because of our inner battle we have an unconscious need for domination. We create obsessive-compulsive and ritualistic behaviors in a vain attempt to protect ourselves from our unseen enemies. Because we react to what we fear we saw, or heard, we miss many beautiful moments and our defensive behavior reflects our constant sense of victimization. Our out of control behavior is a self-sabotage as we create the very thing we fear-over and over again.
The fifth door is marked:
DREAMS & ASPIRATIONS
We knock.
As the door opens, a message is displayed:
Our failed or forgotten goals reaffirm our sense of unworthiness and inability to succeed. Lost dreams and aspirations haunt our daytime and cause nightmares when we can finally sleep. These nightmares are our deepest unconscious crying out for comfort and support, but we have become the cry and cannot perceive of ourselves as a system for support.
Our self-esteem reaches its all time low as our lost aspirations reaffirm our sense of unworthiness and inability to succeed. If only a small speck of light could enter our darkness and show us to our Higher Self.
The sixth door is marked:
SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE
We knock.
As the door opens, a message is displayed:
Finally, when we can no longer stand our fear and pain, we fall to our knees to ask for guidance. Then perhaps, if even for a moment, we can feel the long arm of love as it reaches through our fear and self-pity. But a moment is all that is needed to accept guidance from the realm beyond time. Through our fears, our sorrows, our anger, and our pain, the hand of LOVE seeks to comfort and ease our tortured heart and weary mind.
If we can open ourselves to this love, if we can believe that we DO deserve this love, then we CAN allow it into our hearts. Then we WILL be able to accept the love that has been offered. When love from our Self is in our lives, we can begin to sincerely love others and to allow others to intimately love us. When we have released the fear and chosen love, the cycle is completed.
